How do you praise your child?

Praise is important for children, but praise must be done right. Follow the advice of our psychologist to maintain a good relationship with your child.

under 8 years

Attention is pleasant and important to every person. And for a child, praise is the manifestation of the attention everyone needs. However, you need to praise them at the right time - your child should know that they’re important to you, loved, but praise should only happen when they deserve it.

Attention can be given in a variety of ways - from an approving nod, to a smile, to an attentive conversation with the baby about what’s on their mind.
When praising them, it’s important to look your child in the eye and not at your phone or a book.
Praise and its intensity should be appropriate. Admiring achievements is really important, but you don’t need to repeatedly do it during normal everyday activities. For example, if you saw your kid putting away their toys, simply nod approvingly or give a thumbs up.
Hug, kiss your child, tell them exactly what you liked about their actions, even if they do something bad. It is important to give praise for their efforts, because they won’t get everything right away.
Don’t forget about motivation: if you want to reinforce a certain behavior, then ask for help. For example, if you want your child to learn to read, ask them to help you choose a book; want to draw - ask them to join you at an art store or a class.
Make your compliments sincere, children know when it’s fake.
Never compare your child with other children.
Show your kid their progress. Every once in a while, talk to your family about small and big achievements, note what they’ve gotten better at.

If you admire every little thing that your baby does, it can negatively affect their education in kindergarten and in the future. Educators and teachers will not enthusiastically praise a child for usual behavior and skills, but this can upset your kid, since they’re used to a different reaction for their behavior. It is possible that your child will begin to blame themselves, and think that they’re doing something wrong.

Balance is always important! Being mean or very rare praise is also bad. After all, if a parent does not notice their child, does not praise them, then there may be other consequences:

Your child will try to meet the expectations of others. This is very toxic in general - to try to be perfect for someone else and not live for yourself.
A child can become a “sick” or “troubled” child. These conditions usually guarantee a child their parent’s attention, which they may not receive otherwise.

It is not easy to be a parent, because sometimes attention and communication with a child are simply not strong. Do not blame yourself. Do not be afraid to be like your parents (if there is such fear). It’s important to acknowledge your behavior, not rejecting the opportunity to seek help from a specialist. It is important for your child that you are a “resource” parent and that you can devote enough time and care to them.

Be attentive to yourself and your baby!