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How to handle a Bully

How to handle a Bully

Does your child get teased or picked on? Or did your kid end up being the offender? A psychologist weighs in on what to do in these difficult situations.

under 8 years

In any situation, I want to protect my baby from being hurt by bullies. But it is important not only to protect your child, but also teach them to stand up for themselves. If you constantly intervene and don’t learn how to handle difficult situations, your child may become accustomed to the role of being a victim in the future, and this will adversely affect their character.

  1. Teach your child to behave confidently with the offender: stand up straight, look them in the eye and say in a calm voice: “leave”, “stop saying that to me this, I don't like it”, “I want you to stop teasing me.” Words may not scare the bully, but a confident posture and remaining calm will show that their teases are not working.
  2. Teach your child to respond to a bully, if necessary. But their response should not be an attempt to offend, but to show their opponent they’re calm. For example, your child is called “dumb” - learn to answer: “thank you for enlightening me” or “why did you say that to me?”, This will confuse the offender.
  3. Try to rehearse running into a bully. Teach your child to ignore these kids, not to pay attention to teasing, to show them their calmness and good mood. The bully will give up when they don’t get the reaction they want.
  4. A child should have options for an answer, and it is good if they are prepared or even memorized. Your kid must respond confidently, without showing that something is bothering them.

Talk at home about your child’s feelings so that they do not take resentment seriously. And teach to resist the offenders. Your support is very important.

Do not forget that your kid will not be able to handle some situations, and parental intervention is necessary. It is not necessary to solve disputes with the abuser of your child, but with their parents and educators. Calmly describe the conflict and your position, try to find a way out together.

If your child is a bully

Usually, it’s unpleasant to get a complaint about your own child. And in this case, your decisions and actions are also very important.

  1. The first thing you have to do is to observe the child and honestly acknowledge the bully in them, if so.
  2. Tell your child you love them, but their behavior makes you very sad. If you were teased as a child, share your memories of how hurt you were.
  3. Tell them that it’s dangerous to be a bully - bullies usually have few friends, someone can be stronger and fight back, other kids can begin to tease them.
  4. Ask your child about the reasons for their behavior - for example, why they call others names.
  5. Be calm, but do not hide the fact that you are upset.
  6. Together, try to find a way to change the situation. Your kid must understand what caused the damage, and figure out how to fix it. Apologize, or maybe help protect weaker kids. Let them come up with a solution, and you can help them.
  7. The problem will not be solved immediately; you also need to search for the reasons for your child’s aggressive behavior. This may be a lack of attention, issues building relationships with kids they’re interested in befriending, frequently being around violent people or behavior.

If the problem is too difficult to solve on your own, contact a child psychologist who will help your family.

Be attentive to your baby!

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