Oldest won’t play with Youngest

In a large family, older children do not want to help the younger ones and play with them. How do you make siblings become friends? Wachanga’s psychologist has advice.

under 8 years

Older children are not required to play with younger children; it's perfectly okay if they don't want to. This is the first thing that all parents need to understand. Your children are not babysitters for your other children.

You might think, what's wrong with wanting that? "Look after the baby while I'm on the phone", "stay with the baby at home, and I will run to the store." But, looking at it, we understand that if the difference between children is less than 11-15 years old, it is simply unsafe to leave them unattended. And even if the older child is already a high school student, they are still a child and should not be responsible for younger brothers and sisters as an adult.

The second important point is that older children aren’t as interested in hanging out with their younger siblings as they are with friends. They have different skills, different interests. Even adults sometimes do not want to communicate with people they know, but children also have their own personalities and have their own preferences.

Your children should play with each other when they want to, and you shouldn't force them to be friends and play together - this could potentially ruin the relationship.

Encourage children to play and engage in activities that both older and younger will enjoy. Or think up things that they would love to do together.

Raising and looking after children is the responsibility of the parents. When there is a desire to involve the eldest of them in this process, you need to remember something very important: very responsible older children who look after younger brothers and sisters, often in their adult future have difficulties with creating a full-fledged family - they do not want their own children, since they’re tired of responsibility and unbearable burden in their childhood.

All of the above does not mean at all that older children cannot help their parents. It is important to take into account their desires and be able to let them help out if they want.

Be attentive to your kids!