How to save a marriage under stress

We get into stressful situations every day, and not only at home. However, under these new conditions - the conditions of quarantine and self-isolation - it is intra-family conflicts that come to the forefront of life. But, this does not mean the way to solve these conflicts will be fundamentally different than any other difficult situation.

How do you save a marriage when the world around us has lost its former stability?

First of all, when hard times come, you should think whether your family has any “active” crises - financial, age-related (yours or your child's), a crisis of relationships or related to recent major changes. The more crises overlap, the greater the likelihood of tension in the family and conflicts arising.

The second thing to consider: conflicts are natural in themselves, and you should not be afraid of them. It is important to recognize and acknowledge the crisis, the occurrence of problems and try to discuss them openly. Talk with each other, do not hide discontent, because it is the accumulation of negative emotions that lead to insoluble and unconstructive arguments, when people simply shout at each other.

Always start a conversation about a problem calmly, come up with a solution together. For example, you’re not happy with how household responsibilities are distributed: talk with your spouse and children, tell them how you feel and come up with way to fix the issue, ask for their help - let loved ones also think about how to carry the load.

And the third. In a difficult and critical period, the accumulation of negative emotions is inevitable. Have "revelation evenings." Get together as a family and talk about all the negative feelings you had today. To avoid creating more resentment, discuss in advance exactly how you’ll be addressing your complaints. For example, instead of “I cleaned the garbage all day for you and got very angry because no one helped me” it’s better to get away from accusations, and focus on your emotions: “I felt angry and tired all day, because I wanted help around the house from you". Framing your statement this way definitely won’t leave your relatives indifferent, they will certainly want to support you.

Remember that dark times never last forever. The main thing is to survive the turmoil, preserving yourself and loved ones. Appreciate and take care of those who are near and dear.